I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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