Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize