We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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