there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Also, beer. Big fan.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Randomize
