But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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