I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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