I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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