well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
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Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
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Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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