playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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