i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
