how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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