My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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