I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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