can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.