Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.