you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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