Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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