like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize