when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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