She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
