What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My vagina is very pro this idea
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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