you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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