Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
that's an acceptable place to lick
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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