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dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
my god I love twenty year old dicks
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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