i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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