As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
