It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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