ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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