i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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