If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
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If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
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This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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