We're like a lot better than the average bears
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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