Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize