i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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