It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
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I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
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I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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