He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
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You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
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he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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