You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
50% drunk capacity currently
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize