Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
