If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize