Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
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I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
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And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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