whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
