Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
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There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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