She announced her abortion via fbk
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
