In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
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