honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
