She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
