Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
