why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.