This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
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I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not