i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.