dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
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he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
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I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son