I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
