Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
