her vagine was all disorganized.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
