We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation Purity has been aborted
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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