I didn't shave. On purpose
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
